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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26752711">Kiss Me Again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/konix/pseuds/konix'>konix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bakuten Shoot Beyblade, Beyblade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Related, Drama &amp; Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Minor Violence, Slice of Life, flash fiction collection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:22:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26752711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/konix/pseuds/konix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A intimate look into ups and downs of Kai and Hilary's romance and the moments that made them. Told in short chapters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hiwatari Kai/Tachibana Hiromi | Hilary Tachibana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. things are never the same</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hilary understood why her friends were confused. To them, Kai might as well be a computer for all that he expressed outwardly. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“He seems so cold,” one would say.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hilary would shrug. It mattered to Kai what others knew what about his personal life, so she’d long ago sealed her lips when it came to him. “He has his moments,”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he talk to you? Like, really talk?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We understand each other very well,”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen him reach for you? Does he, you know... Is he loving?”</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They’d look at her with wide, concerned eyes. If she wasn’t used to people being curious about Kai’s more private life, she would call them stupid for thinking she’d stay in such an unloving, one-sided relationship. Hilary understood. She wore her emotions like a badge of honor. She knew everyone could see how much she loved Kai. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They couldn’t see the way Kai would give her a proper kiss in the morning, even before she was fully awake. He’d be dressed, ready for the office, when he’d come over and sit on her side of the bed. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She would feel the brush of his fingers curling hair behind her ear, before the whisper of his lips pressed lightly against her cheek or temple. He’d linger for a moment. She could feel his chest expand as he inhaled deeply. His fingers would trail under her jaw as he got up and her eyes would open just in time to see him with the softest smile.</span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He wouldn’t say anything but Hilary had never felt so loved. </span>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t always been like that, though. </span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just the start of the journey. Hope you enjoy it with me.</p><p>TW: In chapter 11, Hilary slaps Kai. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter and a brief, non-graphic summary of what happened at the end, so that those who don't want to read it can continue without missing anything.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. touching certain people</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day before Hilary left for university, as an unexpected surprise, the boys had arranged a going-away party for her. She walked into the dojo, expecting to say her final goodbyes to the boys and out popped the largest gathering of her friends she'd ever seen.</p><p>How they had even organized it without her was a mystery, but she was glad they did. While it was weird to see her school friend mingling with her Beyblade friends, it was the perfect present.</p><p>Even Kai was there, though he didn't stay in the crowd for long. She watched him slowly slide out the door when he thought no one was watching. Extracting herself from her group, she grabbed a slice of the cake that had her name written on it – literally – and followed him out.</p><p>"You never were one to say goodbye, but I honestly thought that only applied when you left," she said, sitting next to him on the open porch. He had one leg pulled up, his arms hugging it close to his chest, while his other leg dangled over the edge. Even here, he was on the defense.</p><p>Kai didn't answer. She took a bite of her cake.</p><p>"I'm happy that I got this moment with you," she continued, stabbing her cake again. The room inside had been warm with the rambunctious crowd. Outside the air was quiet and cold, much like her companion. "I wanted to thank you,"</p><p>"What for?"</p><p>"For this," she motioned behind her with the fork. Her heart raced as she looked at the shadowed profile of her friend. Feelings she acknowledged but had never voiced rushing to the surface. "If you hadn't backed me up all those years ago, none of this would happen. I'd barely have known you or the guys. You changed my life that day."</p><p>Kai jumped from the ledge and walked over to the tree in the yard. He stood tall like always, shoulders pulled back into a straight line, eyes towards the moon.</p><p>Hilary had seen him distance himself before. Usually, she didn't mind, but this was her party and her last night before starting over again. And he was over there, leaning against the tree with his arms crossed over his chest like nothing was changing.</p><p>"The least you can do is listen to me," she put down her plate and followed him across the yard. "It worked out well for you the first time."</p><p>"What more do you have to say?"</p><p>"Well," she hesitated. His sharp eyes made contact with her own and her heart picked up. What was she going to say again?</p><p>He waited for her to continue, never wavering.</p><p>Hilary struggled to find the words. How was she to pour all that she was feeling into a goodbye that he didn't even seem to care about?</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she braced her hands against his arms and leaned up on her toes. Hilary's lips darted against his cheek briefly before she pulled back.</p><p>"I just wanted to say thank you," she whispered, "and that I'll miss you."</p><p>She rushed back into the crowded dojo before he could say anything, not that she expected him to. She knew better than to expect anything from Kai. He was a closed book written in a language she hadn't learned to read no matter how often she studied. Hilary felt foolish for thinking that he'd reveal anything to her.</p><p>In the morning she left, determined to leave Kai Hiwatari and her schoolgirl crush in the past.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate it greatly. Take care - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. sometimes, you just want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai declined when they invited him to a welcome back dinner. She was only back for a short break anyway and what was he going to do with that.</p><p>Still, he found himself standing in front of her door. She opened it quickly after he knocked, wrapping a sweater around her body as she shut the door behind her.</p><p>"What are you doing here, Kai?"</p><p>"I heard you were back,"</p><p>"Yeah. But you didn't come to dinner. I wasn't expecting to see you."</p><p>He wasn't expecting to see her either, truth be told.</p><p>"Kai?"</p><p>He shrugged. She was looking up at him with curious eyes, arms wrapped around herself as a shield from the slight chill. The longer he stood there, the more her eyes dimmed into anger and betrayal.</p><p>She shook her head. "You can't come here and then say nothing. It's not fair -"</p><p>Kai slid his hands under her jaw, tilting her head up as he leaned down to meet her. Slating his lips against hers, Kai held her there for a moment, firmly. Her hands reached up and gripped his wrist. At first, he thought she was going to push him away. Instead, she held him closer.</p><p>There was a moan of protest as he broke away.</p><p>Her eyes remained closed for a few moments after. His hands stayed curved around her small face, basking in how the light above the door warmed her peaceful expression. When she opened her eyes again, she seemed to surprise to see him so close. He could feel her short gasps.</p><p>Reality came back to her. "You can't do this," she said. "Kai, I'm trying to move on -"</p><p>He leaned back in, quick to silence her words. He didn't want to hear that – couldn't hear that. He moved one hand away from her face, wrapping around the curve of her waist and bringing her closer. Her arms disappeared from his wrists and reappeared on his chest. The gentle pressure of the kiss grew as she pushed toward him.</p><p>He never really understood the obsession - never understood the concept - but standing there with Hilary, the quiet night cocooning them in the single moment, he wanted nothing more than to continue having her lips against his.</p><p>She pulled away first. He followed but she moved her head out of reach while he kept her body close.</p><p>"Wait," he whispered. "Just wait,"</p><p>"For how long?"</p><p>Kai didn't really have an answer. He didn't really even know what he was doing. She was just starting school and he also had his education to finish. Then there was working under his grandfather in the company and that would take a lot of his time and focus.</p><p>"I can't believe you," she pushed against him, backing up until his hands were forced to let her go. "That's not fair, Kai."</p><p>He could hear in her voice the tears she refused to let fall. She turned away, going back inside her house and closing the door firmly behind her. He stood on her doorstep for a moment more, letting the cold air bite at his face, before putting his hands in his pockets and walking away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read. I appreciate it. Hope you have a good week, accomplishe whatever it is you need to do! I know you can do it. - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. for sorrow, seek happiness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai closed the door behind him, leaning against it. Finally, some quiet. He had never enjoyed crowds and liked them even less when he was the center of attention.</p><p>He took in the huge room, filled with the dark, heavy furniture his grandfather favored. It didn't feel real that this was all his now.</p><p>He walked over to the desk, remembering how he used to sit in the chair to try to see the world from a leader's perspective. The thought of sitting in it now was like a punch to the gut.</p><p>His breath started coming out heavy as Kai thought of all the changes that would be taking place, all the things he'd have to do once the news of his grandfather's passing settled across the world.</p><p>Was he ready for that? They thought they had years left to prepare when they'd only had months.</p><p>"Not now!" He shouted at the opening door an in attempt to scare away yet another one of his grandfather's associates. They'd been trying to get on the new president's good side since the funeral began. He found their vulturous tendencies disgusting.</p><p>"Kai?"</p><p>It wasn't a vulture. Hilary stood, halfway in, half still concealed by the door. He was so shocked by the sight of her he couldn't utter a sound. She entered completely, closing the door again, though she didn't come any closer.</p><p>Four years later, Hilary wasn't the girl he'd desperately kissed outside her childhood home. She looked unbelievably grown in her black dress.</p><p>She broke the silence first. "You're suit looks good. You've gotten broader,"</p><p>"I didn't know you were coming,"</p><p>"Kenny called. I meant to be here earlier, but my flight got delayed," She started moving closer as she spoke, slowly crossing the wide room until she was standing just a few feet in front of him.</p><p>Neither seemed to know what to do. Moving as if not startle a wild animal, she closed the remaining distance, wrapping her arms around him in a delicate hug. His response was gradual as he uncomfortably returned the affection. Her chin barely met his shoulder even in her heels and he was surprised by her slender waist. Everything about her seemed to have changed just slightly, stretching and tightening and filling out, until a young woman stood where a teenage girl once had been.</p><p>She released him but remained close. Her hands brushed non-existent lint from his shoulders.</p><p>"Yes, you're definitely bigger than before,"</p><p>"So are you,"</p><p>He could kill himself. She only smiled at his blunder.</p><p>Her smile damped. "I'm so sorry, Kai. I know you had a difficult relationship with him. I can't imagine what you're going through."</p><p>Words he'd heard all day, but so sincere coming from her.</p><p>"Thank you for making the trip. You're probably busy."</p><p>"Anything for you, Kai. You know that."</p><p>He nodded, though he didn't know. He hadn't seen her since that night all those years ago when he'd made a desperate plea, asking her for more than he deserved. He was a child, thinking that he could have everything he wanted simply because he wanted it. Since then, he avoided even mentioning her in an effort to put her from his mind.</p><p>The truth was he just didn't trust himself around her anymore.</p><p>He'd closed his eyes at her words, finding it difficult to look at her while she was in his arms still. It was the comfort he wanted but didn't dare reach for. And yet, she sought him out.</p><p>Hilary placed her warm hand against his cheek, tilting his head up to look at her. He could see the pain she felt for him in her eyes, the frown that pulled down on her lips. Lips painted a deep red.</p><p>He lunged forward like a bull charging at the flag. Unlike the gentle touch of their first kiss, Kai pushed with vigor, pulling back slightly only to return a second later. Her mouth opened to catch her breath in the beat of the kiss, Kai meeting again and again.</p><p>He pulled her close, greedy for her body against his. At the same time, he walked her back until she hit the desk.</p><p>Kai was hungry and unrelenting. All of the frustrations he's felt for the past week poured into every second. Hilary kept pace, letting him nip at her lips and push at her and pull her to his content. He was so happy – for once, something was going his way – that he didn't even care why she was doing it. She was here, in his arms, letting him fulfill one of his wilder fantasies.</p><p>Her hands roamed under his jacket. He could feel a hand rest over his heart before traveling up to his shoulder as if she was trying to hold on to something. Another hand went past his shoulder and up to his neck, fingers sliding into his hair.</p><p>Boldened and encouraged, his hands wandered up her back, finding the zipper to her dress.</p><p>Finally</p><p>Finally</p><p>Finally</p><p>He couldn't have imagined this turn of events but he wasn't going to complain.</p><p>"Kai, stop," she pushed his arms away, firmly removing them from her back.</p><p>They breathed heavily against each other. He could feel his heart jack-hammering in his chest as he tried to process what was happening.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I didn't intend for that," she continued.</p><p>He pulled away, distancing himself. "It's fine, I shouldn't have assumed,"</p><p>Hilary caught his arm. "Kai -"</p><p>"No, Hilary," he shook her off. "I said it's fine. I get it."</p><p>Her hair was a mess, lipstick smeared, dress almost falling from her shoulders. He'd be pleased with his work if it weren't for the sad, sympathetic look in her eyes.</p><p>Pity. He'd seen it all week and he was done with it.</p><p>"I'll go," he said, turning his back on her. "There's a mirror in the drawer."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things are tough for them right now, but it will get better. Promise. Sending sweet thoughts towards all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. go where you go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next time she saw Kai, only six months had passed since his grandfather's funeral. She was surprised to see him, coming face to face with him on the streets of New York. There wasn't a moment that Kai wasn't somewhere in her mind, so it took her a minute to realize this wasn't a figment of her imagination.</p><p>"Hey," she said, for lack of another word making itself available.</p><p>He nodded in acknowledgment as the city moved around them.</p><p>"Why are you here?" There was a hope, a dim spark, that he was there for her. That he'd forgiven her for taking advantage of him in a moment of vulnerability all those months ago.</p><p>"Work trip," he said.</p><p>Her heart dropped. Of course. He wouldn't travel across the world just for her. Maybe there was a time, but that had long passed.</p><p>"So, things are going well, then?"</p><p>"As well as they can. There was an adjustment period but I've found my feet."</p><p>"You always do,"</p><p>The silence between them threatened to strangle her. She struggled between letting the conversation die so that he could leave and keeping him talking so that she could continue to look at him.</p><p>"How's school?"</p><p>"Good. Really good."</p><p>He nodded. He really did look spectacular in suits. He preferred those baggy pants and jackets when they were kids, but a tailored suit did his long legs and broad shoulders justice. His hair was still unruly, though it did look like he tried to manage it.</p><p>Would it be worth apologizing to him? Would he accept it? Would he be offended? She had no clue what he wanted anymore.</p><p>"Do you want to get lunch?"</p><p>It was her words, her voice, but she didn't know what prompted the question.</p><p>He tilted his head, eyes narrowed in confusion.</p><p>"I know a great place," she motioned over her shoulder. "I'll even pay. How could you say no to a free meal?"</p><p>He smirked. A silent chuckle shook his chest. "Over my dead body. Lead the way,"</p><p>They chatted small talk all the way to the cozy café she favored. She told him about her experiences as an international student – her classes and the city, all the unusual people she met.</p><p>"It was an adjustment, coming from all the way from Japan, to say the least," she finished as they entered the shop. "But what about you? I've hardly heard anything about you since I left,"</p><p>He shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I finished my education in London and then went back to train under my grandfather at the company,"</p><p>Hilary winced at the reminder of his grandfather. They placed their orders, Hilary getting her usual, and Kai ordering the same. True to his word, he pushed her card out of the way with his own.</p><p>As they took their seats, Hilary looked at him. He was being very kind; much kinder than she deserved after what she'd done. And then paying for her lunch even though she was the one who invited him.</p><p>"I'm not keeping you from something, am I?"</p><p>"No," he shook his head, "I came in a few hours ago. The meeting's tomorrow and then I fly back,"</p><p>"Oh, okay. Good."</p><p>"My bodyguard might be missing me though," he added, "I sent him in to grab something from the concierge and I left before he came back out."</p><p>"Kai! He probably thinks you've been kidnapped,"</p><p>Kai smiled, laughing at the idea. "I know. But he'll be fine,"</p><p>"When did you get so mischievous?"</p><p>"Well, I need to do something to entertain myself now that I'm working all the time. All I ever do is paperwork and meetings,"</p><p>"Must be stressful,"</p><p>He looked contemplative after her words, his gaze shifting, looking into the distance but at nothing at all. "You know, I've always been envious of Tyson. Beyblading came easy to him, making friends came easy, though I never cared about that. But the fact that I knew what my future was, I always had that on him. He'd inherit the dojo, but would he be able to keep it up was anyone's guess,"</p><p>"Yeah, running a business of any kind requires discipline,"</p><p>His eyes returned to her, hard and focused. "But now that we're here, Tyson still has the upper hand. Because he can do what he wants most of the time. He blades when he wants to, goes out with friends; he's learning the dojo from his grandfather. And I -"</p><p>Hilary waited for him to continue his thought. He'd never been one to be so open about his stresses and worries. If he was in the mood to talk, she'd listen.</p><p>Their food came before he could say anything more.</p><p>"Enough complaining, right? At least I have a job."</p><p>She shook her head. "I don't think you're complaining,"</p><p>"Anyway," he waved it off. "What are your plans after school?"</p><p>Hilary felt bad that he didn't feel like he could talk to her but thought better of pushing him. "I hate that question,"</p><p>"You don't know?"</p><p>"Why is that so surprising? Everybody acts like I always have everything planned,"</p><p>"Because you do," Kai said around a bite of his sandwich. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy. You do."</p><p>"Yes, I am a planner, I won't argue that, but it's not all I do."</p><p>"Hilary, the first day I met you, you came up with a plan to help us train,"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"You knew nothing about beyblades, yet you planned a schedule. A successful one, at that,"</p><p>"You guys needed the help,"</p><p>"You knew you were going to attend university outside Japan when you were fifteen,"</p><p>"I'd always dreamed of it,"</p><p>"You can't sit there and act like it's weird you don't have the next part of your life planned out."</p><p>She sat in silence, wilting under his knowing stare. "This part is scary," she whispered.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because," she lifted her shoulders, uncomfortable with being so honest. She'd never said these things to anyone. "There's no safety net. If I fail, I fail. That's it."</p><p>He disagreed. "That's bull,"</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"You're young. If you fail, you'll try again. And you have Tyson and Ray and Max and Kenny," he paused and Hilary felt suspended in air, "and me. We'd never let you fall and stay down. We're your safety net."</p><p>She felt tears prickle at her eyes. Being so far away for so long, she'd started to feel disconnected. She saw everyone once in a while. Max stopped by often while he visited Judy. Ray and Mariah traveled all the time, getting it all in before they settled down with a family. She saw Tyson and Kenny when she had a chance to video call. Kai was the only missing piece, and yet he was the one assuring her of their dedication.</p><p>"Understand?"</p><p>She nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment.</p><p>The rest of the lunch flew by and Hilary felt like they were getting back on track. Maybe they'd be able to put all of that mess behind them and just be friends again. Of course, she'd have to go into a strict Kai-cleanse to get over her reemerging feelings, but his company was worth it.</p><p>They walked back the way they came, letting the natural breath of the city push them along until they were standing in front of the building where she met him.</p><p>"This is my stop,"</p><p>"I hope your bodyguard is okay,"</p><p>"I texted him before we got to the café. He's inside resting. And he's not so much a bodyguard as a personal assistant."</p><p>"And here you let me worry," she followed him in, away from the crowded street.</p><p>"Do you want to come up?" He asked as they neared the elevator.</p><p>Hilary paused. Their friendship was finally starting to feel real once more but she was still feeling guilty about the way she'd treated him.</p><p>"I don't know if that's a good idea," she said.</p><p>His open face fell. Gaze tearing away from her, he took a deep breath. "I see. It's fine,"</p><p>"I just -"</p><p>"Hilary, you don't have to explain," he waved his hand. "I didn't mean anything by it."</p><p>"I'm just still sorry about last time,"</p><p>Kai looked to her again. "What do you mean you're sorry. I practically mauled you."</p><p>"Only because I took advantage of your emotional state of mind," Hilary emphasized. "You were upset over your grandfather and not thinking clearly. I didn't want you to do something you'd regret."</p><p>"Hilary," he said on an exhale, as though he were exasperated with her. "My mind was perfectly clear. I had been thinking about doing that since the night you kissed me on the cheek."</p><p>Hilary shook her head. "But you were upset with me,"</p><p>"I was upset with myself. You made it clear that you were moving on, and then you flew in when you didn't have to. And stupidly, I turned you into a mess against my grandfather's desk like you were some cheap thrill."</p><p>"So, I didn't take advantage of the situation?"</p><p>"I probably would have thanked you if you did,"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Yes, I want to come up." Hilary bit her lip. She'd been a fool to think she'd ever get over him.</p><p>Kai wasted no time calling the elevator down. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her inside, slamming the 'close' button repeatedly before hitting the number for his own floor.</p><p>"Kai," Hilary said, grabbing the lapel of his suit jacket, forcing him to turn towards her. Her breath came out in sharp gasps. "Kiss me," she whispered, though his lips were already colliding with hers, driving her back against the elevator wall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again. These two are a mess but I hope you're enjoying it so far. See you again next time. Stay safe.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. whatever happens tomorrow, we had today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The light hit her eyes, causing her to blink repeatedly as she awoke to the world. Recalling the night before as she took in the unfamiliar room, Hilary smiled. The weight shifted on the other side of the bed before she felt light kisses trailing up her bare shoulder, onto her neck and settling, open-mouthed under her ear.</p><p>"Good morning," she said, rolling to face Kai as he leaned over her.</p><p>Freshly showered with a towel wrapped around his waist, he looked like something from her dreams. "It's better now," he said before closing in and taking her lower lip between his own. He continued his efforts, settling over her while her hands worked their way into his hair.</p><p>She giggled as his kisses traveled from her lips back down her neck. "Don't you have a meeting?"</p><p>"I have a few minutes,"</p><p>"We both know that if we get started, it won't be a few minutes,"</p><p>Kai stopped, his face reappearing in her view. She'd never seen him look so...happy. His fingers had found a section of her hair and were now twirling it in spirals.</p><p>"I have a few hours after my meeting," he said, "do you want to get a late lunch?"</p><p>Hilary motioned for him to move so that she could sit up. Bringing the sheet with her, she leaned against the headboard. "I would love to, but I have classes all afternoon. Can we do dinner?"</p><p>"I have another meeting back in Japan. I have to leave by five."</p><p>"Oh," Hilary didn't know why she was surprised. He did say he was only here for a meeting and then he was flying back right away. Still, she could feel her heart breaking.</p><p>The reality of their situation was dawning on him as well as he stood up from the bed. Silently, he walked over to his closet where a fresh suit hung</p><p>"I should take a shower," Hilary mumbled, eager to be out of his line of sight if only so he didn't see how upset she was. She could already feel him pulling back and after a night where she'd finally allowed herself to open to him again, she couldn't take it.</p><p>All her work, years of pretending she found other boys interesting, that she could settle for someone else, be happy with someone else, undone in a single night of fantasy.</p><p>She showered quickly, concealing herself in a soft towel so that she could go around and collect her scattered belongings. She hoped Kai had already left so that she could save a shard of dignity.</p><p>He hadn't. Now fully dressed in a gray suit that did wonders for his hair, Kai sat at the table near the large windows, egg omelet and coffee in front of him while he read from his phone.</p><p>"I ordered a plate for you too," he said without looking at her.</p><p>"Thanks," Hilary grabbed her items off the floor. She couldn't be rude to him – they shared fault for the circumstances they found themselves in. They had one night and then back to reality.</p><p>Dressed in yesterday's clothes, Hilary joined him at the table. Her eggs were slightly cold, but the view of the city made up for it. "It's beautiful up here,"</p><p>Kai nodded, looking outside.</p><p>After sitting in silence for too long, Hilary put her fork down. "Okay. We're adults. And we've been friends forever,"</p><p>He turned to her, eyebrow arched at her announcement.</p><p>"So, we can go back to being friends and put this behind us. No one needs to know."</p><p>Kai cleared his throat, putting the phone away in his jacket's chest pocket. Hilary's eyes followed as he stood and buttoned his jacket. He leaned down until he was just next to her ear.</p><p>"There is no going back, Hilary," he whispered, pulling away so that their eyes were at an even level. His eyes dipped, just for a moment, to her lips which were slightly open as she studied him. Swooping in, he stole a final kiss.</p><p>She gasped as he stood up again and started walking towards the door, pausing only to grab his briefcase. "I have the room booked for the rest of the day. Stay as long as you'd like and feel free order more food if you need,"</p><p>Hilary sat in the chair after he was gone, fingers playing with her lips as if she could recreate the feeling that he brought. Lost in thought, she began to see the various ways this could play out for them. And has he walked farther away, a feeling of hopelessness began to bloom.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading. It's much appreciated. Have a great rest of the day/night/morning wherever you are. - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. now that i've seen you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai waited off to the side of the crowd gathered to collect their loved ones. The airport had always been one of his least favorite places, which was probably why Tyson and the others were so confused when he was the one who offered to pick Hilary up.</p><p>"I'd rather drive to the airport than plan the party," he offered by way of reason.</p><p>
  <em>They shrugged and went back to planning her graduation party. Another surprise party that took him back to when she first said goodbye. The kiss that blazed against his cheek and the feeling of her small hands holding onto his arm that lingered long after she'd left made him believe he was sick. But a few weeks later, he had not had physical symptoms and yet his body still ached. It was only after Max mentioned speaking to Hilary that he realized he missed her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is she having fun?" Mariah asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"She said she went to a party and that some guy hit on her all night. She had to pretend not to know English to get him to leave her alone. Somehow, he believed her even though they'd had a conversation earlier."</em>
</p><p>Kai considered that the moment he became aware of his feelings, though on reflection he could see where they were peeking through before. He spent the next months trying to ignore the increasing feelings of loneliness and detachment, ignoring her calls while the others crowded the video screen, but even that had its consequences.</p><p>But since seeing her in New York, he felt things had shifted in his favor. She had tried to move on and he had given her the space she needed to try. Both had failed. Now it was just a matter of moving forward from this awkward phase they found themselves in.</p><p>Hard to do over the phone when she was half a world away. He'd asked her to wait once and he promised never to do it again, but he hoped that by keeping in contact, he'd keep himself at the forefront of her mind. He hoped that she'd see the future they could share.</p><p>He didn't have any signs to flag her down but her eyes found him immediately as if drawn by a magnet.</p><p>That's what they were, Kai thought. Magnets that were constantly drawn to each other.</p><p>"Do you need help with your bags?" he asked when she stopped in front of him, her eyes shining with happiness.</p><p>"No, I sold almost everything from New York and what's left was shipped earlier this week," she sighed. "I've been living out of this suitcase for what feels like forever."</p><p>He took the rolling bag from her, taking her small backpack as well.</p><p>"So, what's the plan," she asked as they walked away from the bustling airport toward his car.</p><p>"What do you mean? There's no plan,"</p><p>Her eyes narrowed at him. "That's what Max said before my going away party,"</p><p>"Then Max is a better liar than I thought because you couldn't have been more surprised." He put her bags in his trunk. Closing the car, he turned to her. She had her face turned toward the sun.</p><p>"It doesn't feel real yet," she said to the open air, "that I'm done. That I'm back permanently."</p><p>Kai took the opportunity to admire her. When he saw her again at the funeral, he was caught up in the changes she'd undergone since she left. Now, he was surprised by how much she looked the same. Her hair was a bit longer but besides that, she looked exactly like she had when he saw her last.</p><p>She turned back to see him looking at her. He refused to advert his gaze, letting her see what she wanted to; he was done hiding his thoughts from her. She blushed from whatever she found in his eyes.</p><p>Kai approached. It felt familiar and right to be in her space again. His hand brushed her cheek. They fell against each other as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Her lips gently pulling on his bottom lip while his thumb trailed just under hers. It stayed there when he pulled away.</p><p>"Welcome home," he said.</p><p>Hilary threw her arms around him and rose on her toes to meet his lips. He had to dip or she'd never had made it on her own but he was all too willing to give her what she wanted. His hand traveled to the back of her neck to cradle her there, keeping her within reach until she lowered herself.</p><p>"Best welcome home ever," she whispered into the small space between them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have a great weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. it's a beautiful day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hilary's thoughts circled Kai and his mysterious ways while she tried to assemble another piece of furniture. Having a new place to call her own was great until she realized she needed a house's worth of stuff.</p><p>And the bookcases had been kicking her butt all day.</p><p>After spending a month living with her parents – and more time at Kai's than she cared to admit – she was more than happy to have space all her own. A job, an apartment, and a...boyfriend?</p><p>Were they dating?</p><p>It was a question that kept Hilary up at night. He'd never really asked her out. They just sort of ate together and then went back to his place. Sometimes they just took the food back to his place. Sometimes they didn't even eat the food.</p><p>But she also got food with the others, so that couldn't be defined as dating. And if she were to run this past any of her friends from university, they wouldn't call it a relationship, that's for sure.</p><p>Maybe it was her fault. She was the one that didn't want to tell the others right away.</p><p>Did she even want to be in a relationship? Shouldn't that be the real question?</p><p>Great, she'd put the door on backward again.</p><p>Putting the screwdriver down, Hilary stared at the mess of wood and screws and nails in front of her, cursing each item for the frustration it caused her.</p><p>She heard keys enter the doorknob and the lock turning. The door was her favorite part of the place – it had cute little windows to let the sunlight in. For privacy, she put up sunflower curtains. But she'd only given a spare key to one other person.</p><p>Kai walked in, shutting the door behind him. His suit jacket was thrown over one arm, tie pulled loose. As he walked across the room, cracking his neck before finally collapsing onto her brand-new couch.</p><p>"Long day?"</p><p>"The longest," he sighed. "Never-ending meetings about things I don't even care about. Who cares about these things?"</p><p>"I'm assuming the men on your board?"</p><p>"They need hobbies,"</p><p>Hilary smiled to herself. Kai did such a good job because he refused to fail. To them, he was a machine that never stopped. She liked to think she was the only one who got to see the tired side of him.</p><p>"Thanks for coming over to help me,"</p><p>Kai didn't move. He laid back with his eyes closed, arms crossed over his chest.</p><p>"Kai?"</p><p>He snored.</p><p>"I know you don't snore when you're asleep,"</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>Hilary rolled her eyes. Slowly, she crawled across her floor, careful not to move anything. Once she was close enough, she lifted off the floor and settled herself on his lap, one knee on either side of him. She could see how his hands twitched, responding to the impulse to hold her there. Still, he restrained himself.</p><p>She put her hands around his neck, folding her fingers together. "You promised you'd help me with these,"</p><p>Still, nothing.</p><p>Leaning forward, she kissed his forehead. "Nothing? Maybe here," she placed a delicate kiss on his eyelids.</p><p>"Nope. How about here," she kissed his nose. His hands stayed by his side and his head leaned back. Sighing dramatically, Hilary moved to get off his lap. "Well, I guess there's nothing I can -"</p><p>She erupted into a fit of giggles as Kai's hands shot up to grasp her hips, keeping her in place and pulling her even closer. His eyes slid open slightly, a characteristic smirk pulling up his lips.</p><p>"You missed something,"</p><p>She pretended to think. "No, I don't think I did,"</p><p>As he leaned forward, probably intending to show her what she missed, Hilary folded her hands in front of her mouth, blocking him.</p><p>"No. Not until you help like you promised you would,"</p><p>They stared each other down, neither backing off. He could be stubborn, Hilary knew, but she could be just as bad. It was a battle of wills and fortunately, at that moment, she had all the power.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy Monday everyone! Hope this week treats you well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. falling from the clouds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't understand why you won't just come with me,"</p><p>"Because if I come with you, then people will conclude that we're together."</p><p>"And what would be so wrong with that?"</p><p>Hilary stopped. It was the question she hated the most, but one that she had, up to that moment, only asked herself.</p><p>"Nothing would be wrong with it," she answered, pouting. They sat inside his car outside her apartment. Rain poured down outside. She watched as the drops raced down her side window.</p><p>He'd asked her to his work gala for the third time.</p><p>"Then why?"</p><p>Her head snapped in his direction. "<em>Are</em> we together?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>To Hilary, this wasn't an odd question. He'd never formally asked her to be his girlfriend. She'd just come back to Japan and they started sleeping with each other regularly. He could be so difficult to read, she had no idea what any of it meant. She had assumptions but there was always a doubt. There were so many times the question had sat at the tip of her tongue, waiting for a chance to be voiced. She didn't mean for it to sound so withering. She should have been kinder.</p><p>Kai looked as if she'd slapped him.</p><p>"Never mind," Hilary said, moving to open the door, "It's stupid. I'll call you about this later,"</p><p>Quicker than she could've seen, his arm reached out and pulled her door shut. He locked it and then grabbed her wrist, preventing her from reach for it again.</p><p>She turned, coming nose to nose with Kai. His deep eyes poured into her. She could feel his breath and she thought about all the other times he'd been this close. It was hard not to respond the same way.</p><p>Impossible even.</p><p>Hilary pushed forward, connecting to him like she was used to. She felt his grip tighten on her wrist as she deepened the kiss. Her other hand came up to cup his cheek as he tried to pull backward.</p><p>But even he couldn't stop. His hand left off her wrist and both appeared around her head, pulling her closer.</p><p>There was a bitterness to the kiss; a feeling of deep frustration that Hilary couldn't separate from her desire to keep doing it.</p><p>"Ow,"</p><p>Hilary paused at his whisper. "What?" She fought to catch her breath.</p><p>"The middle console," he said, trying to adjust himself so that it wasn't jabbing at his stomach while he leaned across.</p><p>Hilary sighed. It was for the best. They were adults, not rowdy teenagers. She glanced at Kai. He was already looking at her, one of his hands still playing with her hair. She wanted to understand what he was thinking but as always, he kept his thoughts so well guarded that she couldn't even read the emotion in his eyes.</p><p>"I don't know what to do," he said. "I thought I was being clear in my intentions."</p><p>Hilary knew that if she'd been younger, she'd have fawned over his words. Maybe written them in a diary and read them every day.</p><p>"You're fine," she replied with a smile. She unlocked and opened the door. "I'm just dumb sometimes."</p><p>She left without giving him a moment to respond, opening her umbrella and running up to her front door. He could follow if he wanted, but Hilary knew he'd give her the space. He always gave her space.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things are getting dark for these two again. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and is it out with me. It means so much.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. when words run dry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai didn't understand. He didn't understand why Hilary was refusing to tell anyone that they were together or why was she refusing to accompany him to work-related parties and events.</p><p>God, she'd look so good in a formal dress. Something dark red, that would hug her hips. Everybody would look at her but it would his arm wrapped around her waist and he'd bring her closer and everyone would know.</p><p>They'd know.</p><p>Kai looked out the window from the backseat. He recognized the street but it wasn't the right one.</p><p>"Where are we?"</p><p>"This is the address you gave me, Mr. Hiwatari," the driver assured him.</p><p>"Right," he trailed off. They pulled in front of a familiar door. "Don't wait for me,"</p><p>"Are you sure -"</p><p>He slammed the door shut. Determined, he walked toward the door, digging in his pocket for his keys.</p><p>There were no keys. He didn't drive himself.</p><p>He tried the knob. Locked. Good. He'd be upset if she left herself vulnerable.</p><p>Banging on the door, he waited. She had to be home. Where else could she be?</p><p>It wasn't like she was dating anyone. His thoughts felt sharp and bitter. He tried to stuff them in a box - the same box he put all his teenage anger into. Tonight, it seemed that box was full and overflowing.</p><p>He banged again. And waited.</p><p>Maybe she was in danger. Maybe she slipped and fell and was bleeding out on the floor in her bathroom.</p><p>Kai ran his hand threw his hair. It was already so late and he was standing outside her home, banging on the door. What would her neighbors think? He needed to act fast before they called the authorities. He couldn't have that. The board would be all over him. What kind of president got arrest banging on a girl's door?</p><p>Especially when that girl wasn't even his <em>girlfriend</em>?</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Kai made a fist and pushed it threw the bottom pane of the window. Finding the knob on the other side, he unlocked the door and pushed it open. Pulling his hand back out, he noted the sharp sting.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>He walked in and flicked on the light only to be met with the girl's shrill screaming and a blur coming towards him.</p><p>"Kai! What are you doing?" She dropped a stick – was that a metal bat? - and put her hands on her knees. "I could have killed you!"</p><p>"You swung a bat at me,"</p><p>"You broke my window!"</p><p>"You swung a bat at me."</p><p>"Are you...happy?"</p><p>"You tried to kill me with a bat, Hil," Kai said, opening his arms so that he could hug her. She was ready to beat anybody who threatened her. He loved how tough she was. "I could kiss you right now,"</p><p>Hilary swatted his arms away. "Are you drunk?"</p><p>"Just barely. I can still stand straight. And if I were to sign a contract, I think it would be valid."</p><p>She examined his eyes. "Well, you're not slurring your words,"</p><p>"But I am bleeding," he held up his hand for her to see.</p><p>Hilary's eyes widened. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him over to the small kitchen to wash it off. "I can't believe you really just punched my window,"</p><p>Kai watched as she took care of his hand. He hated the worried look on her face. Using his other hand, he brushed her now too long bangs away from her face. "Why aren't you my girlfriend?"</p><p>"I don't think you'll need stitches,"</p><p>"Hilary," he said, louder this time so that she couldn't ignore him. "Why aren't you my girlfriend? Why won't you put on a beautiful dress that I paid too much for and dance with me in front of everyone?"</p><p>She looked at him, her eyes muddled with pain and restraint.</p><p>"Why do you only kiss me in secret," he said. That was definitely the alcohol talking.</p><p>"I don't know," she whispered. He waited. He knew she'd fill the silence. "I just keep thinking, what would people think. What would the guys think? Would they laugh at us? Would they think I'm being a fool?"</p><p>He pushed turned off the running water, grabbing a kitchen towel to wrap around his hand for pressure. "How so?"</p><p>"You, with me? Isn't it too much of a fairy tale? Am I being foolish to trust...you? You've left before, you can -"</p><p>He kissed her. Gentle and careful. Pulling away, he leaned against her forehead. "I'm here for good,"</p><p>She nodded, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. And then coming back again. Taking his injured hand, she unwrapped the towel. The bleeding had slowed enough, leaving just a few scrapes along his knuckles. She kissed them tenderly, lingering for a moment. Turning his hand over, she opened his palm and kissed him there as well. Resting her cheek against his palm, she looked at him, smiling softly.</p><p>Again, his hand burned where she touched, igniting a fire in him he only felt in rare moments when he knew he was doing exactly what he was meant to.</p><p>He felt the first time he touched a Beyblade. He felt it again when he got Dranzer and every time he battled Tyson.</p><p>Now, he felt it every time he saw her.</p><p>Kai knew he'd do anything to keep that fire burning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A tipsy Kai is a fun Kai. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Stay safe and lovely - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. subtle lines and failing fights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter, Hilary is upset because it has been revealed to her that both Ray and Mariah are aware of their secret relationship. Hilary is not ready, for unknow reasons, for people to know. Kai has been expecting her interruption and thinks that he can distract her with kisses. Hilary is not distracted and physically lashes out in anger. Kai immediately addresses the problem, asking why she thinks causing him pain is a valid reaction. Both made mistakes, realize that neither of them told Ray or Mariah - the two are simply observant. The chapter ends with an apology and a hug.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: In this chapter, Hilary physically strikes Kai in anger. He addresses it immeditately and she apologizes. I want to make clear that I do not condone the use to physical violence by either party in a relationship. I also didn't want ignore the fact that Hilary has hit others in the anime, so it could be apart of her personality when angry. </p><p>If reading this would make you uncomfortable, please read the chapter summary. </p><p>Also, I'm open to any comments or considerations. Thank you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He knew as soon as she opened the door that she was ready for a fight. He was prepared for it.</p><p>With complete disregard, she threw her purse on the ground while marching up to him, vicious words already flying from her mouth. There was nothing he could say to taper her anger so he stayed quiet. He couldn't recall the last time he'd seen her so angry. Probably with Tyson or Diachi. It had certainly been a while since she directed any of her anger at him.</p><p>They'd both matured over the years and had found different ways to express their disagreement. Still, he had to admit that deep inside, a part of him had missed the hot-temper of the girl he knew long ago.</p><p>He would only stand for some time, however, and when her hand raised high, poised to strike, he intervened.</p><p>Moments later, he had her pinned against the desk in a familiar position. He could see the anger in her eyes. He leaned in, pressing a feathery kiss against her cheek.</p><p>"I should have known you wouldn't fight fair," she struggled against him.</p><p>Kai held her close, one arm wrapped around her waist while the other held the hand that was raised to smack him. "Hmm?"</p><p>"You never fight fair,"</p><p>He pushed closer to her. "Do you remember the last time I had you here?" he whispered in her ear. His teeth pulled on the small earring she wore. She shuddered under him.</p><p>"Different desk," she replied.</p><p>His teeth scraped down the shell of her ear, landing an open mouth kiss at the point where her jaw met her neck. "True,"</p><p>He threaded his fingers through hers. She gripped his hand tightly. Her other hand braced herself against the desk. "I'm still mad,"</p><p>"I know," he trailed down her neck.</p><p>"And I'll be mad when you're done,"</p><p>He turned his attention to her collar bone, intent on distracting her. "We'll see,"</p><p>She gasped as he moved up the column of her throat. He felt the vibration of her breath through his lips.</p><p>When he made it to her chin, he took a moment to admire his work. The last time she'd been in the office at the Hiwatari Estate, the circumstances were all wrong.</p><p>She opened her eyes and he licked his lips at the lazy look she gave him. Lost in the moment, he loosened his grip.</p><p>A switch of her expression told him she found her opening, but it was too late. Her hand landed solidly on his cheek, the force pushing his head to the side, and the quick snap of his neck.</p><p>Turning back to her, she looked satisfied. "I can't believe you told Ray,"</p><p>"I can't believe you just slapped me,"</p><p>Hilary rolled her eyes. "Are you hurt?"</p><p>"That's not the point, Hilary, and you know it."</p><p>Kai, more than most, could understand wanting to hit something but at this point in his life, he knew he'd never want to hurt something he cared about. He could handle her slap - he'd had worse. He could handle her sarcasm - he'd be a hypocrite to complain about that. What bothered him was her look of vindication as if she'd won a fight in which she was the victim.</p><p>She held strong under his bold stare. "You shouldn't have kissed me when I was mad. It's not fair or right to mix the two."</p><p>"You shouldn't have tried to hit me even though you're mad."</p><p>Hilary shrugged defiantly.</p><p>"Are you really so furious that Ray knows that you would come in here, intent on causing <em>me</em> pain?"</p><p>At those words, she stilled. He could see her mind working. He waited, his patience wearing thin as she thought through her actions.</p><p>She deflated. "I just surprised when Mariah called, I didn't know what to say. I was caught off guard and didn't like it."</p><p>"Well, now you know how I felt when Ray mentioned it offhandedly like it was old news."</p><p>"Wait," Hilary said, her mouth open in shock, "so you didn't tell Ray? He just knew?"</p><p>Kai chuckled. "He's a lot more observant than people give him credit for,"</p><p>He watched as her eyes shifted back and forth, piecing the information together. He knew she was scared, though he struggled to understand why. He could only hope that through his persistence, she'd come to see that he was on her side.</p><p>Without warning, Hilary wrapped her arms around him, taking him by surprise. She buried her face in his chest and held him tightly. Once the moment passed and he was able to process that she was only hugging him, he laughed and slowly wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the simple fact of having her close.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she whispered.</p><p>He smiled, bending to kiss the top of her head. "It's okay,"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. feeling grounded</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He woke up when she rolled into him, tucking herself under his chin. Her feet wormed their way around his legs, tangling them together.</p><p>"Are you awake?" he asked, refusing up open his eyes.</p><p>Hilary wriggled closer. "No,"</p><p>"Oh,"</p><p>Moments later he felt her lips graze his neck, a gentle little peck he couldn't be sure she intended until she did it again.</p><p>Returning the affection, Kai bent to kiss her forehead. Instead of pulling away, he rested there. He could feel her fingers running up and down his back.</p><p>"I'd hate to make this about me," his lips brushing against her as he spoke, "but I need to go to the bathroom,"</p><p>She gripped him tighter. "No,"</p><p>"Okay," he chuckled.</p><p>She kissed where his collar bone met his shoulder. "You smell good in the morning,"</p><p>For all her constant planning and thinking three steps ahead, her morning thoughts were surprisingly deconstructed and loose.</p><p>Taking advantage, Kai leaned closer to her ear, moving her soft brown hair out of the way. "What's your favorite thing about me?"</p><p>She didn't answer for a moment. And then, softly. "You're very pretty,"</p><p>Kai's eyes popped open. He moved away from her to see, betting that he'd find her sly smile, but her eyes were still closed, mouth slightly opened.</p><p>"Pretty?" he whispered. Laughing softly to himself, he placed another kiss on her temple. He let himself get comfortable, relishing in the warmth she offered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>super short and sweet. Have a great weekend</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. secret kingdom undone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Good to see you're still alive,"</p><p>Kai looked up from the papers on his desk. "Who let you in?"</p><p>Tyson took a seat in the chair across from him. "Come on, Kai. Everybody knows we're friends,"</p><p>"Doesn't mean someone's not getting fired today," Kai muttered as he turned back to the work in front of him.</p><p>Tyson laughed. Kai often wished he could go back to the days when Tyson was scared of him. Somehow, the younger man had lost that instinct.</p><p>"We should get lunch sometime," Tyson cut into his thoughts. He'd been rambling on for a minute but Kai had tuned him out – a skill he'd developed early in their friendship.</p><p>"I have plans,"</p><p>"I meant <em>someday</em>, not <em>today</em>,"</p><p>"I will probably have plans then too,"</p><p>"And we should invite Hilary. She works around here, right?"</p><p>Kai stopped scribbling his signature on documents for a moment. It wasn't odd for Tyson to want to get the group together; he talked about it often. But the way he said her name had Kai's attention.</p><p>"Somewhere around here,"</p><p>Tyson looked out his windows at the skyline view from Kai's office. "What do you think of her – Hilary?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I mean, do you think she's cute,"</p><p>"No," Kai said firmly, "I do not think she's cute,"</p><p>Beautiful. Intelligent. Funny. Seductive.</p><p>These were the words Kai would use to describe her. 'Cute' was very far down his list.</p><p>"Well, since she's been back, I can't help but think," Tyson left off. Turning back to Kai, he tilted his head. "She changed when she was at school, huh?"</p><p>"She grew up, Tyson. We all did."</p><p>"Right. Right."</p><p>Kai waited for a moment while Tyson seemed to be lost in thought. He hated this. He hated not being able to tell Tyson straight to his face that he was too late. He should have seen Hilary for all her qualities then.</p><p>He hated that Hilary didn't want to tell anybody.</p><p>Was she ashamed of him? What could she possibly be ashamed of?</p><p>He looked at the time on his computer screen. Hilary was due to meet him for lunch in his office soon and he wanted Tyson gone. They were going to work this out, and either he was going to announce to the world that he was not Japan's number one bachelor under 25 or...</p><p>Or what? They were going to break up?</p><p>Ki refused to even consider it.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Kai stood from his desk and walked around. "Tyson, I am busy with actual work, so don't take this the wrong way, but get out."</p><p>"You always had a way with words, Kai," Tyson stood up, rolling his eyes as he followed Kai out.</p><p>Kai walked him to the door, reaching to open it when the handle moved. Hilary walked in, her lunch in hand.</p><p>"Hilary?" Tyson said while Kai silently panicked.</p><p>She looked to him. Fear and surprised were in her eyes, which didn't help Kai at all. "Tyson, hi," she said, forced happiness coloring her tone. "What are you doing here,"</p><p>"Just checking on this grump," Tyson placed a hand on Kai's shoulder, smiling at Hilary. "What about you? Is that food?"</p><p>"Yeah. Because I'm so close, sometimes we have lunch together,"</p><p>"That's funny, because I was just saying that we should all have lunch together. Can I join you guys?"</p><p>"Uh," Hilary paused, looking to Kai for help. But all Kai could see was how Tyson had moved around him and was leaning into Hilary. Had they always stood so close together? They looked comfortable with the lack of distance between them.</p><p>"Kai?"</p><p>He turned to Hilary. She blinked at him. "What do you think?"</p><p>What was he supposed to say? <em>No, I want to eat lunch with my very platonic friend all by myself?</em></p><p>He hated this.</p><p>Tyson would find out either way.</p><p>"Sure, he can stay" he said, "but he probably won't want to,"</p><p>They both responded in confusion, curious eyes meeting him. He reached forward and dragged Hilary closer, bringing her to him. He didn't give her a moment before he attached himself her her lips. Chest to chest, she stood frozen and he was sure she was thinking about Tyson and what this would mean.</p><p>Kai refused to let up until he was sure he was the only thing she could think about. Finally, she relaxed in his hold, arms wrapping around his back as she adjusted to stand even closer to him.</p><p>He worked against her lips, coaxing her. Once she moaned into the kiss, he knew he had her. Keeping up with her pace, he opened his eyes, making sure that Tyson was watching – that he was seeing.</p><p>Hilary was not available.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again. hope everyone had a good weekend and has a great week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. life cannont be unlived</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The week had kept them both busy, but the weekend was theirs to enjoy. Hilary leaned over Kai's chest, kissing him slow and deep. They had wasted the day away in each other's arms. Hilary was content to waste the night as well.</p><p>"Dinner?" he asked between her kisses.</p><p>She smiled, going back in, "I'm good here,"</p><p>He gripped her hips, moving her so that she was sitting over him, the sheets bunched around her waist.</p><p>"What about me? Don't you want to be a good host?"</p><p>Hilary looked down at him, putting on an offended expression. "What, you don't think I've been a good host?"</p><p>"Well, it has been a little cold at times," Kai ran his hands up her back, his fingers tracing along her spine. "But luckily, I have you to keep me warm."</p><p>She shuddered as his hands rounded her shoulders and ran down her arms. "Yeah, sorry about that. The heater's been acting up lately. The landlord is supposed to fix it, but I think she's waiting to see if I renew my lease."</p><p>Kai sat up, causing Hilary to lean back to give him room. "That doesn't seem right,"</p><p>She recognized that look in his eye – the one he got whenever he wasn't getting what he wanted. She crawled off him and off the bed, putting some space between them. Picking up his discarded shirt, she slipped it on and buttoned it up.</p><p>"It's not right, but it is how it is with landlords sometimes," she shrugged. "So, what do you want? I think I have eggs or we can go out,"</p><p>She could hear Kai following her out of the bedroom as she walked to the small kitchen, hiding her face in the fridge.</p><p>"Hilary, look at me,"</p><p>Hilary turned to look over her shoulder.</p><p>"Move in with me,"</p><p>She sputtered. "You can't just drop that on someone,"</p><p>"I'm not dropping it," Kai shook his head. "It's been a while; people know about us now. Everything is good. And I hate that you live in this place - it's so easy for someone to break in,"</p><p>"You're the only one who's ever broken in," she muttered.</p><p>"The estate is big enough and it's just me and a few staff members. Give me a reason you shouldn't."</p><p>Hilary struggled to come up with a reason. She was just starting to get comfortable with Tyson and the others knowing that she and Kai were a thing. No one had said anything to her yet, but she was mentally prepared for their opinions.</p><p>Kai came up behind her and closed the refrigerator door. Turning so that she was facing him, Hilary reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She had to stand on her toes to reach all the way, but that only meant she could lean on him more fully.</p><p>She pressed her lips to his chest. As small as she was, she barely came to his center. "Why change things, Kai. Don't you like the way they are?" She moved farther up.</p><p>Undisturbed, Kai waited until she'd trailed kisses up his body until she couldn't reach higher. She held out a breath while they stared at each other.</p><p>Hilary felt her hopes dropping. His eyes held in firm resolve. "Kai?"</p><p>He removed her hands from his neck, bringing them down in front of her. Keeping eye contact, he kissed her knuckles.</p><p>"Hilary, I know you have reasons," he said, keeping her hands close to his chest, "but I need you to trust me."</p><p>"I trust you,"</p><p>He disagreed. "You've backed me into a corner, Hil. We can't move forward because you're scared that I'll abandon you. And I can't leave without confirming that fear."</p><p>She pulled her arms away from him. "Do you want to leave,"</p><p>"No, I want to move forward. You're the one that needs space,"</p><p>"I don't need space,"</p><p>"Then move in with me," he repeated, "because I don't like things the way they are now,"</p><p>Her heart shuddered. As a young girl, this was all she'd wanted – to be the at the center of his attention, if only for a little while. She'd spent so many years telling herself she was stupid for wanting it.</p><p>What Hilary wanted, more than anything, to jump into his arms and kiss him without a care, abandon all the worries that plagued her when he wasn't there.</p><p>She thought back to the time he kissed her on her doorstep and how she waited for weeks for him to call. To apologize or explain. Something. No matter how out of character is was, he owed her that. But that call never came. Not for four years. And then, suddenly, he was kissing her again. And again in New York. And again when she got back. And it was all she could have dreamed.</p><p>But</p><p>But what if he got bored? What if he wanted more than her? What if this was still, after all this time, just his never-ending rivalry with Tyson?</p><p>She'd seen the way Tyson's attention toward her a shifted in the past few months and wondered if it had anything to do with Kai. Was that kiss in front of Tyson nothing but a victory lap?</p><p>"Take some time to think," Kai continued, backing away from her, "and let me know."</p><p><em>No!</em> She wanted to shout. <em>No, stay. Please stay. Please. Give me some time.</em></p><p>But she said nothing. No words fell from her lips as she stripped off Kai's shirt and hung it on the bathroom door for him to grab while she took a shower. Words would have be useless against him.</p><p>Kai wouldn't argue. He wouldn't bend. There wasn't anything she could say to convince him, to change his mind.</p><p>And when she heard the front door shut, she slowly knelt to the shower floor, unable to hold herself up anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Hilary. She's having a bad day.</p><p>But I hope you have a great day. Have some fun out there! Thanks for spending a moment with me - Konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. in the shadows of a heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hilary stood off to the side of the restaurant, waiting for her dinner to be ready so that she could take it home and enjoy her quiet evening after work. She was tired and her feet ached from running around her office all-day</p><p>She opened her phone by habit, not surprised to see the lack of messages from the one person she wanted to hear from. Kai wasn't much for conversations via text, but he seemed to make an effort for her. Usually just checking in or confirming plans. She teased him that he texted like a dad, but if she were forced to admit anything, she'd say that she loved it.</p><p>There was a single tone as the door opened, another customer coming in. Hilary barely lifted her gaze from her phone but the familiar shape caught her attention.</p><p>Kai had noticed her first. He had stopped in the doorway, watching her. Hilary hurriedly put her phone away and stood up straighter.</p><p>"Hey," he said diverting his eyes and going to the counter to place his order.</p><p>Hey? That's all he had to say? They hadn't spoken in two weeks, and she wasn't sure what they were at that point, and all he could say was 'hey'?</p><p>Hilary could feel her temper rising, though this wasn't the time or place to let him have it.</p><p>Much to her surprise, he came to stand near her after he finished. When he caught her glare, he arched a single brow. "Yes?"</p><p>Hilary could strangle him. She shook her head, knowing if she opened her mouth, she wouldn't be able to stop the verbal assault.</p><p>"Are you planning on going to Tyson's reunion thing?"</p><p>She looked at him, disbelief coursing through her. She knew he wasn't the best at picking up emotions, but he had to know better than to push her now.</p><p>But the implications of him even being there? They found the place soon after Hilary moved into the neighborhood. It was within walking distance to her apartment and was always delicious. Kai would have to go out of his way to come here without her. So what was the purpose? Was he here to bother her? Taunt her? Make sure she remembered everything that was going wrong in her life?</p><p>The server called her order number and Hilary walked away from Kai, happy for the excuse not to answer. She grabbed her bag and walked out, not letting her eyes drift to Kai again. She imagined throwing the contents of the bag in his face and smearing it all around his hair. It'd take days to get it out.</p><p>Instead, Hilary walked the rest of the way to her apartment fuming. The air was cold but her anger kept her warm. She slammed the door open, turning the lock forcefully and dropping her keys on the table next to the door. Normally, she took great care during her nightly routine, making sure everything went back to its place, but at the moment she couldn't be bothered with any of it.</p><p>Putting her bag on the kitchen counter, she jerked her draw open and grabbed the utensils she needed. She was going dig into her dinner, watch something stupid on TV until an unreasonable hour, and then go to bed, unhappy but satisfied.</p><p>She cursed when she opened the container. "They forgot my spring rolls,"</p><p>Hilary felt like simultaneously screaming with rage and collapsing into a hopeless, teary heap. It was the last thing she needed on a bad day. Just as she was deciding the best course of action, there was a knock at her door.</p><p>As she rolled her eyes, she hoped whoever was on the other side was prepared to have a raging lunatic on their hands.</p><p>Kai leaned against her door frame looking bored as ever. Perfect, she thought. He'd have been her target of choice anyway.</p><p>"Of course, it's you. What? Bothering me at the restaurant wasn't enough, you needed to come here too? No, I don't know if I'm going to Tyson's reunion yet. Happy?"</p><p>He held up a small, white bag. Hilary fell silent as she looked at it, confused by his actions.</p><p>"Spring rolls,"</p><p>She grabbed them, refusing to look grateful for his offer. "They just gave you my order?"</p><p>"They couldn't catch you after you left, so I bought another order for you,"</p><p>"That's strangely nice of you," she grumbled, though she knew it wasn't. He always did things like that for her.</p><p>Kai always made sure she had what she needed.</p><p>They stood in silence for a moment. Hilary could feel her anger melting away like an ice cream cone on a summer day. But it had always been that way, hadn't it? With Tyson and Daichi, her anger could burn for days. However, with Kai, it seemed she could never get it to spark fully. Even when she was at her maddest, it was always a dull ember that could easily be put out.</p><p>How'd he do that?</p><p>"Is your heater okay now?"</p><p>"Yeah, she fixed it,"</p><p>"Good."</p><p>A thick blanket of guilt settled heavily over Hilary. "Do you want some?"</p><p>"I've got dinner in the car,"</p><p>"Oh, right," Embarrassment flooded her. That's why he was at the restaurant after all.</p><p>But Hilary knew if he wanted to, he'd come in and stay. He was just being polite.</p><p>"Well, then," she struggled with the words, "thanks for this, I guess."</p><p>He hummed, moving from the door as he got ready to leave. By habit, Hilary leaned forward, tilting her head the way she always did when he kissed her goodbye. And then she remembered.</p><p>Hilary's breath caught in her throat as she waited for Kai to make a decision. His dark eyes seemed just as surprised to be in the situation as she was. She hoped, blindly, that he'd lean in closer and just give in to what she knew they both wanted.</p><p>Kai cleared his throat. He backed away from her. Hilary felt her heart shattering like glass, the splinters slowly spreading like a spiderweb. This was worse than the time he kissed her on her doorstep and then left. This left her cold.</p><p>"I'll see you," he said as he turned around. She watched as he got back in his car and drove away.</p><p>Hilary wished he would come back. Her chest ached as she shut the door.</p><p>Kai always made sure she had what she needed. But what if she needed him the most?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks to all who've taken a moment to read - Konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. pain is a different chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai thought she was being cruel, but who was he to judge? He displayed his fair share of selfish and reckless behavior in the past.</p><p>Hilary tore at his shirt, untucking it as she raged against his lips. She urged him deeper into the hall, pushing him against the wall as she went. He knew he could easily reverse the situation but he was enjoying giving her control for once.</p><p>Oh, how he missed her.</p><p>He missed the little mewls she made when he held her head at just the right angle. He missed the way her small hands burned his skin. He never forgot that first time when she all she'd done was touch his arm. They were so innocent back then.</p><p>If only his younger self could see them now. It'd save him the stress of thinking he'd lost her.</p><p>But that wasn't true, was it. Even now, she refused to commit herself to him, after all his effort. Didn't he still have that sinking feeling in his stomach - the one that told him she was just out of his grasp?</p><p>Kai felt the frustration bubble up and come out as he returned Hilary's onslaught. She clawed down his back, under his shirt. He turned her head to his advantage.</p><p>"We're going to get caught if you don't shut up," he hissed to her in response to her gasp.</p><p>Hilary stopped her advancement, looking down the hall for anyone who might have noticed their absence. Kai focused on her open neck. He felt like he'd been in a drought and had found a waterfall. When she walked through into the room, immediately surrounded by their old friends visiting for the reunion, he thought he'd never seen her look so bright. When their eyes met across the room, her smile turned into a grin but her eyes darkened, hiding private intentions that only he recognized.</p><p>"Come on," Hilary said, dragging him even deeper into the shadows. She turned and pushed him into a room – a bathroom? He only had a moment to take in his surroundings before Hilary was pushing him against the counter.</p><p>"Do you want this?" she whispered. The words had barely left her mouth before he surged forward again.</p><p>He dipped to press his lips to her heated skin. His impatient fingers wound through her hair. Already so worked up, Kai had nothing to lose. He could see the confusion along with the desperation in her eyes. The time apart hadn't been easy on him, either. The nights he spent awake, remembering what it felt like to have her breathing in the space next to him, were always the longest. He lost count of the nights he had to keep himself from breaking and going straight to her.</p><p>Hilary was being selfish, ignoring his words in her pursuit to fulfill her desires. He loved her - honestly and truly, from his heart. He had since they were teenagers, even if he hadn't seen it.</p><p>"I shouldn't," he replied in a break. A hard breath left them as they crashed into each other again.</p><p>Hilary was selfish and cruel.</p><p>But then again, so was he.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have a good day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. of messes and fools</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When she called Kai earlier that day, hoping to confirm that they were together again and instead Kai said that he would come over so they could 'talk', she wasn't sure what to expect. She knew what she feared, though.</p><p>Kai surprised her. When he walked in, he didn't come in farther than the entrance, remaining close to the door even when she invited him to sit on the small couch.</p><p>He shook his head. "We need to get everything out."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>Kai turned to her. Still dressed for work, though his jacket and tie were gone and his sleeves were rolled to his elbows, she was struck by how attractive he was. She doubted there would ever come a day when she found any less attractive.</p><p>It had been years and her appreciation only seemed to have grown.</p><p>He leaned back against the wall next to the door, arms crossed over his chest. "Tell me what your problems with me are,"</p><p>"I don't have any problems with you."</p><p>He shrugged casually. "Then move in with me,"</p><p>Hilary stopped. Back to that?</p><p>"Or if that's too much, let's start being open about our relationship and attending events together. As a couple."</p><p>Hilary started thinking of appearing at his side for those events, the people she'd met. How they'd look at her, standing next to him.</p><p>She knew what they'd think.</p><p>"That-" Hilary jumped as Kai pointed at her. "That is the problem, I can see it. What are you thinking?"</p><p>She shook her head. "I don't -" The frustration on his face was raw in a rare moment of open honesty.</p><p>It was difficult, the thoughts and feelings he was asking for because she'd long ago caged them to save herself.</p><p>But she had to try. For her. For him. She knew those thoughts were a boulder that weighed her down and kept her from moving forward.</p><p>She had to force the words out, dragging them from the depths of her heart as they clawed to stay in. "I -" she took a deep breath, "I'm not sure about you,"</p><p>Kai's lips tilted into a sad smile. She'd confirmed everything he had been saying. "You're not sure? About me?"</p><p>Now that the words were out, she had to keep going. "Why would I be? You're not exactly a fountain of information, personal or otherwise. It's so hard to read you sometimes. Besides that, you've always made it clear that you'd leave if you want to. And then you kissed me that one time and then didn't talk to me for four years -"</p><p>"You said you wanted space to move on. I gave it to you."</p><p>"But you never gave me – us – any thought before that really, then you kiss me and ask me to wait? What was I supposed to wait for? And then you don't even talk to me after that? I thought you were just leading me on."</p><p>Kai just stared at her, his eyes darkening by the second as she listed his flaws and mishandling of their relationship. Maybe she was too sensitive, but he was oblivious.</p><p>"And when we do see each other again, you kiss me. Again. And it was sudden and amazing and I couldn't think but I knew you were in pain, so I wanted to make sure it was something you really wanted. But again, I don't hear from you for another <em>six months</em>,"</p><p>"I thought you had moved on,"</p><p>"And then New York,"</p><p>They both knew what New York was. It was everything to her. It was the one moment of perfection when she had no doubts about him.</p><p>"You told me things couldn't go back to the way they were and then you left." Her voice had started to shake, dragging up the past and all the moments she found herself at her weakest.</p><p>"I called you,"</p><p>"Five-minute conversations a few times a week, Kai." Hilary shook her head. "It was nice, but I didn't know what it meant. And it was not the assurance I needed."</p><p>"I'm not -"</p><p>"I know you're not a phone person and I appreciated the effort. But when I finally did get back to Japan, you never clarified anything. I didn't know what this was. All you said was we couldn't go back to being friends."</p><p>"I thought I was being clear,"</p><p>"Eventually, I figured out that you were serious. But you were so insistent about telling people, and I thought about what they'd say."</p><p>"Whatever they say doesn't matter,"</p><p>Hilary wished that was true. He may have the luxury of disregarding the opinions of others but it was a quality she lacked. "People have a way of tearing things down, and I didn't want to hear it."</p><p>"What don't you want to hear?"</p><p>Where to start? "That I'm not pretty enough for you. Or good enough. That I'm too emotional and you're too mature so it will never work. That you'll leave for something better – you always do. That you were just trying to beat Tyson."</p><p>Tyson. She'd almost forgotten about him.</p><p>Kai flinched as if he realized what she was thinking. "That kiss in the office," His words were bitter but she couldn't tell who he was bitter towards.</p><p>"Yeah, that didn't help at all," Hilary tried to laugh. It sounded forced, even to her. She didn't find it all that funny.</p><p>"Hilary," Kai whispered. The pain he usually kept private bled through, "Why didn't you say anything? It's been over a year,"</p><p>She shook her head. Tears were building in her eyes. All she could think that now she'd let her guard down, he'd say these problems were too much to handle and she'd be alone. Who would want to deal with all of this?</p><p>At least then she'd have lived through her worse fear. Nothing could ever be as painful again.</p><p>In the moments she'd been lost in thought, he approached her. Tenderly cupping her face, he looked openly and deeply into her eyes. His dark expression, swirling with emotions, harden into determination.</p><p>"Then, let me be clear," he started. "I want to tell people about us because I want them to know that I have someone smart and beautiful by my side, that I love.</p><p>"I want you to move in because I want to see you every day. I don't want to make plans or say good night to you and not have you be in my bed. I want to live my life with you. The only thing stopping me is that you don't see to want that."</p><p>Hilary took a deep breath. She only dreamed of hearing such words from him. Never all at once though. "Oh."</p><p>"Whenever I left, it wasn't to hurt anyone. It was always to pursue the things that I wanted. And I want this, Hilary, but I won't be punished for the things I did when I was a kid and I won't beg you to stay. If you don't think you can get over that, there's nowhere for us to go. So, think critically about it. This is the only time I'm leaving my future - our future - entirely in your hands."</p><p>He pressed his lips to the top of her crown. She could feel the emotion he held there, and for the first time, she could clearly identify it.</p><p>Love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally, right? They've talked. But how will Hilary respond? </p><p>Have a great weekend guys - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. tiny instant of all eternity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her hands shook as she walked up the steps. Her heels clicked with each step, the sharp sound reminding her of the gun during Russian Roulette. She was waiting for the misstep, the one that would make her turn and run. But she managed to make it to the front doors of the museum.</p><p>Hiwatari Enterprise was holding yet another party. Hilary had no idea what the obsession with balls and galas and parties were, but they had a lot of them.</p><p>"For the investors," Kai would grumble as he got ready, fussing with his black tie, while she lounged somewhere in the room. Before he left, he always asked one last time, "Join me?"</p><p>She'd shake her head, pretend to be busy with something. He never tried to make her feel guilty for it, often agreeing that he'd rather stay with her. Still, it never felt quite right to see him off like that.</p><p>Kai was right; they were due for a change. She just hoped she wasn't too late. It had already been three weeks since they last spoke while she tried to sort her mind out.</p><p>Hilary met a man with a clipboard and took a deep breath before giving her name. He once told her that her name would always be on the list. If her name wasn't there, then she'd have her answer, at least.</p><p>The man smiled and motioned for her to enter the crowd. She gripped the material of her dress – red like he liked on her – and slowly walked in. The room was loud, the crowd boisterous, and Kai was nowhere in sight.</p><p>Hilary turned as she moved farther in, her head on a constant rotation. The voice in her head nagged persistently, telling her to leave. She was convinced she was setting herself up for embarrassment.</p><p>Finally, she spotted him. He was surrounded by men much older than him, clapping him on the shoulders and laughing. Never having been able to see him in his business crowd, she stopped to watch. He handled himself well, though she could see the way his eyebrows creased and his shoulders stiffened after each pat as if he was physically restraining himself from removing the offending hand.</p><p>She walked closer, figuring even if he hated her, he could use the escape.</p><p>"What I'm saying, young man, is that you need a nice girl by your side and I know just the one,"</p><p>"Well, she's going to have to go through me," Hilary came up behind him, her hand sliding up his back to rest on his shoulder. She looked at him, trying to get a read on those normally empty eyes. "Sorry, it took me so long to get here,"</p><p>If he was surprised to see her, he hid it well. All she could see was the smallest shift of his lips, the beginnings of a small smile as his arm wrapped around her waist and drew her closer.</p><p>"You're here now,"</p><p>He leaned in, kissing her high on her cheek. He lingered for a moment and the men started cackling.</p><p>"Hiwatari, save that for later. If my wife sees, she'll ask why I don't look at her like that anymore,"</p><p>"If you had someone you should have just said something,"</p><p>"My granddaughter is going to be very disappointed,"</p><p>"Your granddaughter? My daughter's been making hints! Introduce me, she says,"</p><p>Hilary ignored them. The room faded away as he moved to look at her. All that was left was Kai and the way his eyes followed her, seemingly in wonder at her presence. And look she knew all too well, one she had missed in the weeks since he'd left her in her kitchen.</p><p>He leaned back in to whisper in her ear, "It's been almost two months – you really shouldn't have worn red," his fingers tightened on her waist for a moment before loosening, a promise for later.</p><p>Hilary actually felt that red was a perfect choice. "Do you want to dance?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Good morning. Thank you for your time. I truly appreciate it. Have a great week - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. returning home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hilary held up two identical plates. "Which one do you think?"</p><p>Kai stayed quiet, only shrugging as he continued to type at his laptop.</p><p>"You were supposed to take the day off to help me,"</p><p>He sighed. Closing the laptop and setting it aside on the couch, he looked her in the eye. "They look exactly the same."</p><p>"Ugh," she groaned. "You're useless here,"</p><p>"I voted that we hire a designer,"</p><p>Hilary crawled on the couch. It was really the only piece of sitting furniture they had at the moment. She'd already gotten rid of everything else, but this he wasn't letting go.</p><p>"This is our home, we need to pick the pieces together,"</p><p>Kai wanted to laugh at how serious she looked. He was starting to see parts of the girl he didn't know he'd been missing.</p><p>She announced that she was moving in by telling them they were going to renovate. Kai didn't understand her reasoning. When his grandfather died, other than changing a few pieces to match his preferences, Kai hadn't touched anything. All of the items served their purpose, so why change?</p><p>But Hilary came in like a whirlwind. She insisted they picked out every piece together, no matter how stressful it was.</p><p>And it was stressful. Mostly because he didn't care.</p><p>"It's a plate. You eat off of it."</p><p>"But which one do you like more?" She held them up again.</p><p>Kai pointed to the one on the left. "That one," he said and then reached for his laptop.</p><p>"Are you saying that because you like it or because you want to end this conversation?"</p><p>Kai put the laptop down, concluding that the conversation was not, as he hoped, over. Maybe if he stayed silent long enough, she'd get distracted and focus on something else.</p><p>She put the plates of the coffee table in front of them - one of three that she'd brought in to try in the space. It was clear to him that she was disappointed. "That's what I thought,"</p><p>"I don't know what to say," Kai shrugged. "It's a plate."</p><p>"Kai," she said slowly. "I can't read your mind."</p><p>"I don't think you need to for this. It's not like I'll hate anything you pick,"</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"To be honest, I probably won't notice the difference."</p><p>She visibly deflated, shoulder slumping with a heavy sigh.</p><p>Hilary turned to him. "How about we play a game," Curling into his side, he could see the devious smile tugging at her lips. "If we play it right, we'll both be winners."</p><p>"Doesn't sound like a game I'd like,"</p><p>"Oh, you'll like it. Trust me."</p><p>Kai didn't want to give in to her schemes but she was trying so hard and if this cheered her up, then perhaps it would be worth it. "What are the rules?"</p><p>"For every piece that I hold up if we can agree on it, we kiss. The more pieces we agree on, the more kisses that shall be enjoyed."</p><p>"You think you can buy my participation?"</p><p>"You've always been very goal orientated so let's find out," she arranged the plates on the table in front of them. "On the count of three, we'll both point to the one we want."</p><p>When they both pointed to the left, Hilary smiled and leaned in to kiss him. It was a light, gentle kiss, one that was only meant as a reward. As she tried to pull away, Kai drew her back down.</p><p>"No, no," she said into the kiss.</p><p>Kai laughed. "You were right," he smiled into the kiss, "I think I like this game."</p><p>He rotated her so that she was lying back on the couch with him moving over her. She turned her head, laughing as he continued to kiss her cheeks and neck and forehead.</p><p>He turned her head so that she was looking directly at him. "I feel like I'm winning already,"</p><p>Afterward, she decided she didn't need his help after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, we're at the end now. I hope you've enjoyed what you've read so far. Thanks for sticking it out with me - konix</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. intimate episodes of life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hilary knew her friends didn't get it. She knew they'd never be able to see past the man they put on the cover of magazines, highlighting his business conquests or his past rivalries in the Beyblade world. They would always turn him into the most basic version of himself: strong; cold; silent; fearless; fearsome. And he could be all those things.</p><p>But by just looking at those traits, it would be easy to think that Kai had the upper hand in their relationship. That he was controlling and impersonal. That being with him was a double-edged sword.</p><p>Hilary hated to admit it, but there was a time she believed the same. She had been so concerned with not being hurt by him that she hadn't realized she was just as capable of inflicting that same pain.</p><p>But that was their first hurdle, one of many to come. The only difference was now they were partners, equal in their love and dependence on each other.</p><p>Those on the outside never be able to reconcile the Kai Hiwatari they read about with the one that appeared behind closed doors.</p><p>She knew that he sought out her lips, her body, her mind, just as much as she reached for his.</p><p>She knew the way he came up behind her and wrap his arms around her stomach, pulling her back against him, only to place a single kiss on the nape of her neck just because he could.</p><p>Or how solid he was when she jumped into his arms the night he proposed. How he could still carry her without wavering as she tangled her fingers in his hair, wrapped her legs around his waist, and attached her lips to his for the rest of the night.</p><p>Hilary would laugh at the articles and her friend's discreet stares as they tried to hide their curiosity. To her, they were uproariously funny. They'd spread those articles among each other, talking extensively about his obvious strength, dedication, and passion.</p><p>And somehow, it never occurred to them that Kai loved her just the same. And she him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So here we are, at the end finally. Thanks to everyone. I appreciate it so much! - Konix</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! I was encouraged to post this here as well. The completed story can be found on ffn under the same title. There are minor changes/edits between the two versions but nothing in the overall plot. Updates will be Monday - Friday. I look forward to hearing any thoughts you may want to share.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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